how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
