I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
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Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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