Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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