If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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