when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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