My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
