It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think people are normalizing furries
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
