He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
