I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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