drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
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Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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