Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
