Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
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Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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