i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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