I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
