dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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