I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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