she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
