yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
