I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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