I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
