happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
