so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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