i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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