Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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