you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize