I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
