I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
