are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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