I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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