somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
