It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
