cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
