You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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