dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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