Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
