So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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