i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
