shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
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do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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