I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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