I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
