Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
