The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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