No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.