and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
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I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch