You're so nebulous sometimes
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
