My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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