Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The adults are the big ones right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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