i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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