you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
