M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
