Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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