i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pants are for mortals
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
