that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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