You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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