yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
